exes

You know when you think stuff won't get any worse for you, an ex rears his ugly head and makes you feel like crap. I was already feeling crappy earlier today and feeling unsure of myself. When we got home from the movies, my baby daddy called and roped my into his drama. He wants to have vacation time to visit with the little one and I'm cool with that. But, he wants to rope me into his plans because he doesn't have a relationship with his kid and is afraid to be alone with her.

Well, when we ended things I felt like I don't have to do anything to make things comfortable for him anymore if it doesn't improve my state of life. It's like he wants me to go out of my way to make things comfortable for him so he can have an enjoyable time and whatever for me until he doesn't need me to be the middle man any more. Yes, he put it out there just like that. Well, that got me madder than a wet hornets nest. I basically just shut down on him and didn't act agreeable anymore. It's cool that he want to see her and do stuff with her but why do I need to be involved? Why when my life seems to be falling apart should I lay the foundation down for him so he can skate through and enjoy himself. I know I should forget him and think more about my daughter. She needs her dad but he is inconsistent and just wants what he wants and damn me it seems.

Maybe I'm just being selfish and not thinking all this through. I can't think straight while my neck and head is so tight. I can't even loose myself in entertainment anymore cause of other people and their noise, or my kid and her attitude. I'm feeling down again and I thought reading the books would make things better. Maybe I want this all to work out too fast. I don't know. whatever...